Rejection is one of the words that send chills down our spines. Many of us have stories of rejection that are very vivid in our mind. Maybe it was the time you were picked last at school for an activity. Maybe it was the time you had a crush on someone in school and they didn't feel the same way. Rejection is one of those fears that we learn early on, that most of us never seem to conquer. But it's one of those fears, like most fears such as clowns and spiders, which are based on non-sense.
In their book, "Marriable" Hayley and Michael DiMarco use the following parable: What if you were given an unlimited amount of dollar bills to spend on lottery tickets at no risk to you. And what if you were given the guarantee that sometime in your lifetime, you'd hit the jackpot. Wouldn't you be buying ticket after ticket, knowing your time will come? Of course you would, you'd be stupid not to.
Let's be honest, being afraid of the little two-letter word "no" is pretty weak. I think we could all agree on that. Can you imagine if you never applied for a job because you were afraid of them saying "No"? How would you ever get hired? So how come we don't have that same approach when it comes to dating? As a guy, I know there are a couple concerns when asking a girl out. But again, they're baseless fears that hold no merit.
"What if she has a boyfriend?" So what? It's not like her boyfriend is going to come around the corner and punch your lights out. If you approach a girl and talk to her and are respectful, even if her boyfriend is there and walks around the corner, you tell him, "I didn't know she had a boyfriend, my apologies. You are a very lucky guy, have a great day." If you're respectful and are a gentleman, then you have nothing to worry about.
"What if she turns out to be underage?" In today's age, girls are definitely maturing a lot younger, and can often look older than they really are. So as you're talking to them, if you have a concern about their age, you just ask them. Now if it's obvious they are older, you probably shouldn't ask their age, because there's a good chance you won't get that date.
Other fears such as being maced, or any other foolish fear, don't carry any weight either. If you are respectful and aren't creepy, most females would love to have the attention. Now if they're in a hurry or busy, then be courteous of that and make it quick.
Quit trying to avoid rejection, rejection is a part of life. If you're not being rejected, then you aren't trying. There are tons of beautiful singles all around you. The problem is that we assume since they are beautiful, that they have a significant other, so we don't waste our time. Again, that's like filling out an application at a place you really want to work, and aren't sure if they're hiring or not. If they're not, you wasted 30 seconds of your life, so what? And you didn't really waste it, if you got out of your comfort zone, and took a "risk."
We need to stop taking rejection so personal. We think that if we are rejected, that means we aren't good enough, and that couldn't be further from the truth. If things aren't a good match, they're not a good match? Why would you want to be in something that isn't a good match. The sooner you realize that you can't be everyone's type, and stop trying to be, the sooner you can be confident and happy, and not worry about rejection. Realize that every single relationship you have ends in one of two ways, either break-up or marriage. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be rejected than drug along a dead-end dirt road. Someone can and often is a Mr. or Mrs. Right but isn't a Mr. or Mrs. Right FOR YOU. They can be the most amazing person in the world, but doesn't mean they fit with you.
I believe that life has a funny way of working out. Sometimes in the middle of a bad situation we can't see it, but things work together for good. So just because you get rejected doesn't mean your life is over, in fact, it's the opposite. It's like a reboot or a restart. You get to start fresh and try again. So if you get rejected, quit taking it personal. It means you're stepping out and taking a risk. And eventually you will hit that lottery.
"Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will." Suzy Kassem
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