"Does True Love Exist?" It's a question that is asked all the time on Google. It's a question that goes through many peoples' minds after a tough breakup. It's something that so many people want to know, because it's something that so many people want. But in all my years, through breakups and long periods of being single, I've NEVER ONCE asked myself that question. I've never been married, and I've never even been close. I've seen so many friends and relatives get married and get divorced. But I've never even questioned whether true love existed even a fraction of a second.
You see, I was very lucky to have the parents I have. Not only did they love my siblings and I very much, but they also loved each other way more. I've come to see over the years what true love really looks like. My parents are still married, and more in love then they've ever been. They are each other's best friend, and they are constantly going on trips and spending their time together. I know that true love exists because I've seen it first-hand.
People often say that it's important to date a bunch of different people so you can learn and grow. And to that I respectfully disagree. I've learned more about love from watching my parents, than all of my relationships. As I grew up, I got the view that relationships shouldn't be tough. They shouldn't be full of hurting, yelling, and fighting. They shouldn't be full an extreme roller coaster of extreme highs and extreme lows. Now of course there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, and you have to put work in, but it's not as difficult as people make it out to be. I can remember ONE time in my entire childhood where they had an argument. And in that argument, my dad never raised his voice at my mom. I remember them arguing, and being about 6 or 7 years old, and never seeing this, I yelled at my mom to shut up. And let me tell you something. I've told her to shut up just that one time in my life. I learned pretty quick that it's not something you should try. I remember getting some spankings and a tablespoon of tobasco sauce. But guess what, I love tobasco now, so joke's on you Mom!
As I've watched my parents, I've seen how effortless their marriage seemed. Now I'm not naive. I know there was a lot of work and effort behind the scenes. And I'm sure the first few years they put in a ton of effort and dedication to get to the point where it was easier. And I'm sure they've had disagreements where us kids couldn't see. But when you truly love, care, and like someone, the "work" you put in shouldn't be some torturous chore you HAVE TO DO. It should be something you WANT to do, because you truly love them. Like I said, I know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. I keep bugging my parents to write a book on marriage. Because I promise you that if everyone did what they did, divorce lawyers and judges would go out of business. So hopefully some day they will. But as I look around and see all the unwarranted yelling and fighting, the needless tears that are shed, the cheating, and the rocky relationships, I see our society has absolutely no clue what love is.
Love is one of those things that you can't learn on your own. The only way to learn what love is, is to be loved. I read a book called "Escape from Camp 14." It's a book about a North Korean who was born in a labor camp in North Korea. And it talks about his life growing up and his daring escape from this camp. He's the only known person to ever escape from this horrific camp. But he talks about how the conditions were so horrible and the brainwashing was so powerful that he saw own mother as a competitor, someone to fight against for food. I won't go into details, but he was so brainwashed, that he was responsible for his mom and brother's murder. He grew up not knowing what love was, because he was never loved. It was all about survival. If you have never been loved, there is no way to know what love really is. It's why so many people struggle with true love.
True love is the most powerful and most unselfish force in the world. When we are single it's ok to be selfish, because you're looking out for yourself. But when you enter into a serious relationship, there is an evolution from being completely selfish, to being completely unselfish. You can't have a successful relationshp when there is selfishness. True Love by definition is unselfishness acted out not once, but constantly, continually, and never ending. It's you living for the other person.
The reason true love is so rare in today's world, is because it goes against everything that society teaches. It's not about you. It's about the other person. It's not having a backup plan. It's not quitting when things get tough. It's not you getting something better when it gets boring. It's not something you can create quickly. It's something that takes time and hard work. It's not one big decision, but it's millions of small dedications. We live in a society where it's all about us, our wants and needs, and getting what we want right now. But that's not how true love works.
It makes me sad that so many people don't see what true love looks like, and therefore has to ask, "Does True Love exist?" If you've never seen what true love looks like, take my word for it because I have seen it. And if your relationships are full of constant ups and downs, yelling and tears, heartaches and disappointment, then can I tell you something? YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! It's my hope to not only give you hope that true love exists, but to give you advice and empower you to find it.
Related Articles
4 Reasons Why Marriages Fail in Our World
Don't neglect the little things
If you don't know what true love is, blame your parents
Would you laugh if your spouse kissed a stranger while you weren't there? This woman did.
The 4 most important lessons I learned from my mom
The 3 C's to avoiding an argument are Communication, Patience, Flexibility
If you want your relationship to thrive, pick up the gum. - PART 1
If you want your relationship to thrive, pick up the gum. - PART 2
