When baby turtles are born, they have to break themselves out of their shell. They have to dig their way out of the sand from being buried. Then they have to scuttle their little green butts down the beach toward the ocean until they reach the water which carries them away. They do all of this without a father or mother there to show them what to do, or to protect them. They are born with instinct on what to do, how to do it, and how to survive.
We on the other hand are the opposite. We were born helpless. You couldn't feed yourself. You couldn't change your own diaper. You couldn't communicate. You couldn't even make it out of your mother and separate yourself. When you were born, you would die without any help. The only instinct you were born with to do on your own is to cry when you're unhappy and to poop. I believe this was by design. You weren't created to go through life alone. You weren't created to do it yourself. I know most of us, including me, want to be tough, want to be strong, want to be able to do it all alone, but that's not how we were created. We were created to be helpless, except when someone came along and fed us, and took care of us, and loved us.
We were created to be taught how to function and how to live. We were created to learn how to do things, how to work, how to play, how to know the difference between right and wrong. We were created to be taught how to be kind to others, kind to animals, but most importantly, how to love.
The problem comes in, is that we live in a fallen society. We live in a place where selfishness, death, and destruction cover the news. We live in a society where it's "me first" no matter who or what I step on or what the consequences are. We live in a society where people aren't true to their word, true to their promises, aren't true to themselves, and aren't true to other people.
What started happening was that selfish people stopped doing what they were taught to do, and started living contrary to what they knew was right. Men started being selfish and leaving their wives and kids. Wives started being unfaithful to their husband, and abandoning their kids. This led to kids growing up in a world where there was no love. You were taught what "love" was. Real love wasn't taught, real love wasn't experienced. The kids never saw the right way a mommy should treat a daddy, and the right way a daddy should treat a mommy. Then the kids grow up thinking that's how you're supposed to treat people. So they do the same thing, and their kids see it and the cycle continues.
More than half of marriages end in divorce, which although is a staggering number, doesn't tell the whole story. How many couples don't get divorced, but aren't happy, and don't really love each other.
How many of you can relate to this?
And more than likely, if you weren't taught how to love, then you weren't taught how to be loved. Like most things in life, the only way to learn something is by seeing someone else do it. If you lived in isolation from birth, would you know how to love someone else? Of course not. So no matter how good intentioned or great of parents yours were, if you didn't see what true love looked like, you don't know how it works. Ever wonder why so many couples yell and scream at each other? Why so many hurtful things are said. Why people get abused? This definitely isn't normal, and these have NO PART in true love. You can have disagreements without fighting. You can have arguments without being hurtful.
So if you don't know what true love is, blame your parents.
Now that you've done that, blame yourself. Once you reach an age that you have the mental capacity to choose right or wrong, and to learn new things, you can no longer blame your parents. You might have been at a disadvantage because you weren't shown how to really love someone. But once you become a teenager and realize that isn't the correct way to do things, then you have the power to change it. We live in an age where there is so much information in books and online, that you have exactly 0 excuses if you don't know how to do something. There are tons of books on how to have a good personality, good character, how to act, behave, and communicate with other people. There are tons of books on love, marriage, and what it should look like. But more importantly, there are older couples that have been married forever, who know what true love is, and how to make it happen. And I'd be willing to bet that if you asked them, they'd be more than happy to sit down and tell you about it.
You are not 8 years old. So stop blaming other people for what you don't know. If you realize you have a problem, study up on how to fix it. No, it's not right to yell at someone you love. It's not right to say hurtful things to someone who matters to you. It's never ok to put your hand on another person in anger. Being unselfish never works in a relationship. Now it's just a matter of learning what to do, how to do it, and breaking these old habits. Like I stated before, if you don't know what true love looks like, then you won't know how to truly be loved. Not only is it important for you to find out what true love is, so that you can be happy. But you also owe it to your kids to show them what true love is. If you were fortunate enough to be raised in a home where your parents truly loved each other, then pass that on. If you were unfortunate enough to grow up in a broken home, turn it around, and don't pass on those bad habits to your kids. Instead be the change so your kids grow up with the advantage of seeing true love first-hand.
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