It was a gorgeous sunny day in Southern California. I was at Disneyland with my parents. We were taking a break from riding some rides to walk through some of the shops and stores and out of nowhere my dad stopped. He turned to my mom and me and said, "Stay right here, and make sure no one steps in the gum." I looked down and noticed a piece of gum laying on the ground. Who knows how long it had been there or how many people had either luckily missed it, or noticed it and stepped over it. My dad disappeared, and returned a few seconds later with a napkin in his hand, reached down, picked up the gum using the napkin, and threw the gum away. No one seemed to notice what he was doing, and if they did, I'm sure they would be surprised. But not me. This little 10 second act, really epitomizes who he is.
If anyone saw and knew what my dad was doing, he would get some weird looks, and I'm sure would be thought of as a weirdo. If it isn't your job to clean up after people, then why in the world would you go out of your way to pick up after someone you don't know, if is has nothing to do with you? He noticed the gum, and he wasn't going to step in it. I wonder how many other people saw the gum, and stepped right over it, thankful they didn't step in it. How many times have we seen gum laying on the pavement, and step over it?
"I'm just glad I didn't step in it."
"It's not my gum."
"Gross that's disgusting!"
"That's not my job."
"I don't have time to do that."
There are plenty of valid excuses we can have when it comes to not picking up someone else's gum. We didn't throw it on the ground, it's not our fault someone else did. And we saw it and won't step in it, so no reason for me to pick it up.
We have all stepped in gum. It's amazing how one wrong step can change your day. A combination of disbelief and anger overwhelm us when it happens. Who in their right mind would be so selfish and be such a jerk that they would throw their gum on the ground for someone else to step in? "I can't believe I just stepped in gum. It's going to get everywhere. I can't go in my car or in my house with gum on my shoes." And this is exactly why my dad stopped and picked up the gum; he didn't want it to ruin someone else's day. He didn't do it for himself. He didn't do it for my mom and me, he could have just told us to watch out. He didn't do it to get noticed or praised. He did it strictly for the sake of looking out for other people.
We live in a world where everyone looks out for themselves. We live in a "Me first" society where it's not only normal to be selfish, but it's expected. In some ways it is understandable. In a world where it appears that everyone is out to get you, protecting yourself almost becomes an instinct. The problem is that being selfish or putting yourself first, doesn't work in a relationship.
The true definition of a healthy relationship is two people who care about each other so much that they make it their goal to make the other person happy. Unfortunately that's not the definition we see in most relationships. And that's why divorces are at an all-time high. If you're in a relationship for the main purpose of getting something out of it, your relationship will not thrive because it's the exact opposite of the definition of a healthy relationship.
The biggest problem relationships face today is that we are unwilling to go out of our way to "pick up the gum" in our relationships. Often in life we do nice stuff because we have good manners, or we do nice things to get something in return. But how often do we go out of our way to do something that we don't want to do, just to make the other person happy? How often do we put our own wants, desires, and feelings aside for the sake of someone else?
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