Mom's should be the voice of love.
I guess that means that dad's voice should be the voice of spankings. Well except in my family, my mom went ahead and was 2 voices. I was scared of my mom until I was about 20 and started going to the gym. I think it was about then I could finally take her. I still don't have a plastic ladle in my house thanks to her. And all those years of getting tobasco sauce for back-talking, well I love tobasco now, so I ended up winning. But in any household, the mom is almost always the glue that keeps the family together.
Every family goes through rough patches. It's life, and it happens to everyone. But I've found that the mom is the voice of love. I can remember many times in our family's life where things weren't going great, and I found out how powerful a mother's love really is. I THINK THAT IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT GOD'S LOVE IS LIKE, JUST LOOK AT A MOTHER'S LOVE. There really is nothing like it on earth. You can even see it in nature, where bigger, stronger, predators will get near a mom and her baby, and even they know better than to mess with a ferocious mom protecting her baby. But as a woman, as a mother, as a wife, don't underestimate how much power your love really has. There will be times when that's all there is that is holding a family or a relationship together.
Just because you're a stay-at-home mom, it doesn't mean you matter less.
My mom has babysat at home for as long as I can remember. While my dad was at work, my mom worked from home, watching her kids as well as other people's kids. So she's been a stay-at-home mom for (well she's 29 right now, so... well I can't math) a long time. Even after her own kids left. Even when us kids were at school, my mom was babysitting other kids, so she couldn't leave. She was stuck at home.
It is said that "Idle hands are the devil's playground." We live in a time where it is easy to get in trouble. With the internet and a little free time, there are more ways to get in trouble than you can count. And many women do. Whether it be talking to people you shouldn't be talking to, using Facebook for gossiping, or whatever else. So with all that free time, it gives someone a chance to get into trouble. But not my mom. My mom has used her free time to read and to write. She has used her time to mail Bible passages, devotionals and encouragement to people in jail. She writes encouraging letters to friends and family members. She doesn't use Facebook as a way to gossip, but as a way to encourage.
If you choose to do so, staying at home and raising kids is the most important thing a mother can do. Granted it's not for everyone. But it's not any less important than going to work. I'm very thankful that I didn't have to go to a babysitter. My mom was the babysitter. So she couldn't take us places, but even just hanging out with her at home was special. If you do decide to do it, and you have some free time, use it to do things you enjoy. Use it to find some hobbies or talents. Read, write, take your kids out. Or use your time to encourage other people. Now I'm just rambling on a topic I don't know anything about so I'll end it. But just remember that being a stay-at-home mom is an amazing opportunity if you can do it, and it's not any less of a job than anything else.
Your spouse should be your best friend.
One of the most important lessons I've learned from my parents is that your spouse should be your best friend. My parents are still madly in love with each other, and spend all their free time together. They love going on road trips and just hanging out. They love watching movies and eating popcorn together. Yes, you are supposed to love your spouse, but you're also supposed to like them. Makes it hard to have a complete relationship if you don't enjoy their company, their personality, and enjoy spending time with them.
You should love your spouse more than your kids.
Out of all of these, I know this one is going to be the one that gets the most resistance. When I was younger, one of the few actual words that I remember my mom saying was that she loved my dad the most, then us kids, then my grandparents. She probably doesn't even remember saying it. At the time, it sort of made sense, but I didn't quite fully comprehend it until a few years ago. I remember when she told me this, I never felt sad, or hurt, or like I had been jipped. Both of my parents made it extremely clear that they loved us unconditionally through the way they loved us. But the more I think of that statement, the more I realize my mom knows more about love than most people will ever know.
There will never be a time when you're all in immediate danger where you will have to choose one person out of your family to save. But the more I study, learn and think about love and relationships, the more I've realized that for ANY relationship to be a success, your significant other has to be your main priority. When you get married, you leave your parents, and become one entity with your spouse. You are no longer your own person that you can go and do whatever you please. You're bonded together, shackled for life. :) Everything they do is an extension of you. Everything you do is an extension of them. You are one person. In order for that to work in a healthy way, they have to be your first love, above your kids, your parents, relatives, and friends. The whole reason to get married is to live your life for that other person. That's the definition of true love, and when it's done right, NOTHING can destroy it. And in a way I respect some people who don't want to get married. They know this, and know that they are too selfish to live like this. So instead of ruining a marriage as well as someone else's life, they do their own thing.
This rule becomes the hardest when you already have kids with someone else and then get married to someone new. I will never understand what a mother's love for her kids is. I will never understand what it's like to go through a breakup where your kids are your rock that get you through it. I understand that your kids are your life. So as I say this, for some, it's not an easy thing to get your heart and mind around. But when I say it, it rings true across the board, no matter what your situation. I'm not saying that you love the new guy you're dating more than your kids. I'm not saying throw your kids aside for the sake of a guy. But if you ever decide to get married to someone, they have to be your number one love in life.
As you get older and your kids will get older. And whether you like it or not, (I'm sure most can't wait) your kids will graduate and move away. You will still love them and they'll always be a piece of you. But things change, and you won't be as close to them as you once were. And it's just going to be you and your spouse again. So this is why it's important for your spouse to be your number one. Because they should be with you through thick and thin, for your entire life. They are your life. So for you to neglect them for your kids, just isn't thinking clearly. I have a friend who is going through problems in his marriage because of this right now. He married a woman who has kids, and she loves her kids more than she loves him. You will never have a successful marriage if your spouse isn't your first love. Remember that love is a verb, it is action. So if it's not the case right now, you can change that. I'M NOT SAYING IT MEANS TO LOVE YOUR KIDS LESS, IT MEANS TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE EVEN MORE.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU WOMEN! DON'T FORGET HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE!
Related Articles
If you don't know what true love is, blame your parents
4 Reasons Why Marriages Fail in Our World
Don't neglect the little things
The 3 C's to avoiding an argument are Communication, Patience, Flexibility
Would you laugh if your spouse kissed a stranger while you weren't there? This woman did.
If you want your relationship to thrive, pick up the gum. - PART 1
If you want your relationship to thrive, pick up the gum. - PART 2
